maybe, now

hi, there.
so tonight, its about me.

deep down to the bottom of my heart,
got ache that i tried to cure it back slowly,
as long as i can,
as far as i could,
never want to give up yet,
maybe.

but you know what,

  everything right now is seems like so ridiculous.
because you are just perfectly fine without me there,
while im here, wondering about us.
 
 thinking about us.
 worried about us.
 been sad about us.

everything is just not make sense at all,
i barely see that we can be like before,

you are forgetting something,


  i'm human, and have feelings too.
anytime and all of sudden,

i can walk away from u.
i repeated,

anytime :)

awak.

coretan malam. 

kita bukan manusia sempurna. jauh sekali mempunyai hidup yang sempurna. tiada satu pun yang sempurna dan, 

 "hidup tiada yang sempurna." 

buat insan yang menjadikan ayat itu sebagai status,

 aku tahu diriku sering menimbulkan perasaan marah dan kecewa terhadap dirimu. 

 aku tahu kesilapan yang aku buat tak mudah dipadam dengan sebegitu. 

 aku tahu kekecewaan mu tak mungkin dilenyapkan dengan pantas. 

tapi, 

 

perasaan sayang yang aku ada, tak pernah sikit pun berkurang. jauh sekali hilang. 

perasaan cinta yang aku ada, tak pernah sikit pun pudar, apatah lagi terpadam. 

hanya satu yang dapat aku janji, jauh di sudut hati aku akan sentiasa menunggu

kita kembali seperti dulu. 

walaupun aku mengaku, bukan sepanjang masa aku kuat, ada kala masa aku bersendirian, 

aku lemah, berhadapan dengan situasi seperti ini. 

aku cuba bertahan, demi perasaan sayang yang masih menebal. 

aku cuba. 

-penulis jalanan-

 

can we go to our dream back, pls

sometimes i wanted to tell the world, what is actually going on inside my mind. how does it feel, what actually i have been, on the other side. people nearby me were actually being like they never understand what i want. what kind of thing that can bring the joy in me.

girls-
  we might not understand ourselves. we said go when it actually mean come here. we said i dont care when it actually mean i care more than i did. everything we said where actually the plot twist. because girls, they talk first, think later. we talk using our mind, we feel using our heart. mind follow by heart. that is why when girls said something, think it back man. it may has a hint behind every word.

im a girl too. that is why, you dont understand me.



i love him. the way he is. he might not be the sweetest guy among all. but i chose him, on my own reason. he might not show to the world what love was really meant to us. but i feel it, between us. he is not even close to any 'dream type man' of the other girl. but i see him as one.

but i had made a mistake. asked him to let me go. no reason, no thirdwheeler, just with mixed and bloody fucking feeling at that time. i have done the non-longer-thinking decision.

28/12 - this date supposed to be the important date for me and him, but now, it fade. nothing left behind.

we both know, we still has the feeling for each other, but the ego win. for hundred times.
we both want to be together again, but the scariest past follow the dream.
we both try to fix the things, but the tremendous perception of unreal keep haunt.
we both wish that we can be like before, but-

we let Allah s.w.t do HIS job, for us.



-penulis jalanan-